why
Ok, trust me guys the only reason I am up at this ungodly hour is the mere fact I am working the graveyard shift for my night auditor...he needed the night off. So here I sit dilerious hoping you all can give me some insight.
My guy I have been dating for a few months now is not orignally from here, he is from michigan. Well, he moved here trying to start over and he currently lives with his father supposedly until he gets on his feet...he has a deposit on his own place right now. Anyways, tonight he calls me before I am suppose to go to work, he tells me he needs to see me to talk, I stop by there on my way, hes talking and explains to me that he and his father had gotten into it pretty badly, and the dads girlfriend apparently drinks and uses. After he told me that it sent another red flag to me, was my intuition correct when I caught him in my purse? Since it is there in the home could he be using? I dont know, but anyway....so later after I get to work he is talking to me about how he cannot be there and he is wanting me to consider getting a bigger apartment so that we could live together.....
He then told me how homesick he was and the only thing keeping him here was me and his uncle, who he is very close too.
I didnt comment either way on his remarks about living together, I was more or less listening....
I am not ready for this at all, I have become too independant and I prefer that the only way I ever live with someone again is if I am married to them.
It makes me feel bad though, (my co dependant thoughts) that if I dont let him move in he would leave to go back to michigan because of him being unhappy. I dont know why he wont do what he has to do or stick it out until he can get his own place...
This crushes me somewhat because I have developed feelings for him...I want to be honest with him though, but I feel like I have been put between a rock and a hard place. Some of it sounds like its being done on purpose...to make me feel bad, but part of me knows I would not be happy living with someone right now.
I hate my judgment sometmes, I mean I am glad I have it...but I feel like I really dont know which way to go.
Any thoughts?
Hope you all are well, I have been working like a wild woman lately but always keep you guys with me...