Hugs and much love to you.
I cannot wait until you are looking back on this, posting your wisdom and knowledge about that thing you went through in the past.
You're gonna make it. It doesn't seem like it right now but your HP is clearing out your AH so you can have a future space to be filled with the person you are supposed to be with. In the meantime, your HP will take care of you while you take care of yourself.