Well I have not been on here for a while so I'll try to be brief and give an update. My "FA" husband is just that-functional. I have been married for 22 years, 2 kids boy17, girl13-I know I can not change him and I try to live that way but at times it is tough. He is a good father, husband-does not cheat, is not violent... just drinks of course secretively and tries to hide it. He was in rehab 16 years ago-when I really did not understand the disease myself and believed he would come out cured! My son is aware of his alcoholic behavior as my husband gets emotional, talkative etc. My daughter- I have tried to shield from all this as she at the age of 12 started to develop an eating disorder (anorexia) which at that time I promptly got her help and seems to be on the mend. I am not sure if she really knows but is smart so it would not surprise me. I just do not want to hurt her and have her relapse so I do the best I can to make things seem normal. My father's brother committed suicide (he too may have been depressed and under the influence)last week and my H really liked Uncle B. This of course has triggered more drinking. Unfortunately, my parents are aware of this whole situation but my H is the executor to my uncle's will (he was single) so this morning he is off with my father to the attorney's. I caught him this morning in the garage w/ his bottle of wine. Of course he knew he was busted. Promptly, I dumped it down the drain which I know I should not do but heck- I am human and it is poison to him (and me). My faith is very strong so I rely on God for alot of my help and live precisely in the present, not in the future or the past. I am not an AL-Anon person so please don't tell me to go there. It just is not me. I plan on going back to either my therapist or someone at church (they have a help ministry) for further guidence. My husband went to the doctors in the summer for a physical-all his numbers were high-glucose, liver function, blood pressure etc. After that he did do better by quiting for awhile and looked 100% better ie-no red face, glassy eyes etc. Unfortunately, all that has returned and my mother asked if he was on again as she could tell. My father is going thru a hard time right now because of his brother (he found him) and now my H is in the mix because of the will. He just left to pick up my parents to get the process started-should I have gone and driven? My kids are still sleeping (teachers are on strike) so they are off school. He left so I only hope and pray all goes well today. I know this too hurts my parents seeing him like this as they feel for me. My H has no sibllings and both parents are deceased. I do know I will survive all this and I try in my heart to be the strong one but it does hurt to see someone almost dying a slow death (or fast) due to what this illness does to the body. My H is a good guy, would help anyone but somehow has this demon within and it just will not let go. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated and I do value this site to vent-I feel better already as my fingers got their exercise this morning
