A special note to all the newcomers...not one of us found and "got" recovery overnight. Most of us took a lot of time, some of us years, before we finished crossing that bridge from the darkness into the light. What is most important, you have already done. You have acknowledge that this IS a problem and you have reached out for help. That's a huge step all by itself.
The rest comes in baby steps. Trying new behaviour until it becomes a natural way of living. We step forward and sometimes we fall back, even with many years of recovery this can happen, especially if we become complacent about practicing our recovery.
And as we change, we often meet resistance from those who only knew us the way we were. They don't know what to make of us, the old buttons can no longer be pushed, and they aren't sure if they like the person we have become. They will, they almost always do.
Recovery is a process that has no end. We don't graduate and receive a certificate but we do receive so many gifts along the way, the greatest of which is the gift of loving ourselves enough to take good care of us. We find a new freedom when we unshackle the chains of codependency.
I just wanted to add that because I know that I wanted what I saw others had, and I wanted it NOW. The good news is that it happens, one "aha" moment at a time and as we learn better we do better and life becomes worth living again.
Hugs