I will always regret the hell I put my family through, but I'm trying to make up for it. I'm glad my dad had boundaries - by loving me, but letting me deal with my own consequences, it made me realize that getting high just wasn't worth it any more.
Thank you Impurrfect, you said that so well.
Macmerry, I am so sorry for what you are going through...I remember the pain so well. I can only suggest you keep reading and posting here and run not walk to your nearest Naranon meeting. So few people go there because they want to....but so many people once they go, stay because they want to...It's a place where people who have been there, who know and understand support each other and learn to live a better way of life.
I see newcomers in pain every week and I am in absolute awe every single time when I see them just 2 weeks later smiling and feeling so much better already.
There's so much to say, but it all takes time...baby steps...For now, remember those 3 C's Moose told you... Hugs
Spinner, I understand your question but I personally do not believe there is an addict view and a F&F of addict view. Step 1 is Step 1 for the addict and for me...the addict is powerless over addiction and I am powerless over the addict. Naranon tells me "even when he knows what will happen when he takes that first drink, pill or fix, he will do so. This is the insanity that we speak of." It helps me to think of something i do that makes absolutely no sense but I can't seem to not do it sometimes...I don't know if that makes sense...I don't think it is possible to really understand addiction completely, even for an addict, but learnign what I could and attending open NA meetings helped me wrap my arms around it a little bit and certainly gave me hope and compassion.
I don't think I've really expressed myself, but I feel very strongly that addiction is not a fault or a moral flaw or lack of will power or any of the other things that people who have not experienced the power of it may think. I've heard often that when the pain of using becomes stronger than the pain of stopping, that's when an addict can begin to choose again and choose recovery. Same goes for me.....When the pain of my role in this dance of addiction got so great I could not stand it, then I was ready to do whatever I had to do to get better.