Hi Mindy,
You have already received some great advice and encouragement from others here; It IS about taking care of yourself.
I know these feelings well also, and I have lived through exactly what you are right now.
It HAS to stop being about them.
It has to stop being about what they are feeling, what they are doing, if they are drinking or trying to stay sober, where they are going, who they are talking to, and what their plans are...
WE have to stop reacting, stop believing their lies because we WANT them to be true, stop following them, stop questioning them, stop snooping, stop trusting them with things we WANT them to be responsible for, Stop having expectations of them...
If we can STOP making it about them, we can begin to make it about US; WE need recovery, WE need love and encouragement, WE need to take care of ourselves.
Sending positive thoughts and hugs your way
Meg