Hi aldo,
My belief is that addiction is a disease, not a character defect.
I often have memories of things that I did or said when I was drinking, even though it's been awhile. Usually I stop them short because I cannot indulge myself in wallowing in all that stuff. Once in awhile though, if I'm not paying attention, the memories do play through and it's still very real and difficult. I don't think it's bad to think of those things once in a while because it reminds me where I was and how I don't ever want to go back there. But remaining positive and moving forward is the most important thing.