I understand what you mean. My ex comes across like a great catch. I am still struggling to see how manipulative he really is. It was very enlightening to read his email after we separated - he would woo one woman and tell her about this sexy dream he had about her and 1 minute later (literally!) send the EXACT SAME dream to another woman. He even admits to "saying what he knows people want to hear" and admits to "having problems with telling the truth".
I too have trouble believing someone can lie (and cheat) right to your face and carry on a double or triple life ??!!!
I am trying to re-look at the past and use ONLY his actions, not his words as my guide tosee what is real (not much) and what isn't.