As AH's disease progressed he became financially abusive. Though my contribution to our company was massive - raising literally millions for our projects - it was his work that brought the actual cash into the house. The last few years of our marriage he started to call it "his" money and by the last year I was believing the same; I could no longer see my worth in the relationship.
Today we are still in a divorce trial for one reason: "his" money (he had funds paid to our company diverted to himself). I honestly believe it isn't so much about abusing me - I'm doing fine - but in his illness, where his life is spinning completely out of control, it's the one thing he can tell himself he has control over. I see it more as desperation. I've heard it said a million times: desperate people do desperate things.
My sponsor's sponsor always says to me: never underestimate the disease.