Buffalo66

It seems like all I can do is obsess.

My AexBF has slept with so many women.While I was with him, while I was pregnant, while I was at home breastfeeding at 3am. I actually get approached by them every once in a while. They always seem so curious, which leads me to think,"Man, what has he told them about me"

One of these girls approached me this past weekend, she answered that question for me. She just said, "Are you ----s' mom?" I just knew... there is certain type of woman who sleeps with a really attractive homeless barfly. I said, let me guess...

She told me that he used to tell her that I was crazy, and I could never know about them, because there is no telling what I might do--- she said he painted me as a full on CRAZY woman.That I may keep him from his son for good, I may attack her...

I estimate from what I know that he has slept with about 75 women in 3 years.
I have been checked, and I know I am clean of STDs. I just do not understand the mentality of the person who does this so much, lies so transparently, and still continues to lie in the face of being revealed.

I am not promiscuous, so I do not really ever even deal with casual sex, let alone make it a way of life. I have tried to reckon with this, and tried to glean whether it is an alcoholic thing, a dual diagnosis thing/bi polar...sex addiction, some other personality disorder.

The questions swirl, and truly are a major part of my getting stuck.. The details, like how does he end up with them? Do they pursue? does he? How does he justify it all in his mind? Is he always drunk when it happens? Does he feel feelings for them. Does he talk about me other than to say I am nuts? Does he use our son as a sympathy point every time? I want to vomit.

And his friends over the years, obviously some claim to be OUR friends, but so many lies cant go unaided. Hes been busted so many times by me, and I just could not face the pain because I was a new mom, alone, complete shift of life style.

I have been humiliated, and all the bar people know that he lied all the while, and they treat him like he is some kind of movie star--- Way to go, dude, you are so cool. You just dont care, man.
These are not people who care about him. They buy his booze, let him spend the night and take wagers behind his back about when and how he will die or go to jail.

I just keep getting these sad eyed phone messages from him. He doesnt know how much info I have, and I am truly heartbroken over the double life thing.The Dr jeckyl and mr hyde thing. I dont understand, and I am obsessing. I cant sleep. I want to know, but I dont want to know. BUt part of me feels like I have to know.

I am not sure if any of you have dealt with this level of lying, and I have heard some of you talk about other women(woman), about gambling, and whatnot.

How common is this degree of unreality in the A? One of the Alanon pamphlets talks about how the A becomes a king in his mind, and his drinking world is his realm. In this case, he actually does have minions, and followers. They arent real friends, of course, but they are so loyal to him, and some of my friends have even crossed over to become his fans. He is that crazy charismatic.

Sorry. I am rambling. I am obviously in the thick of it .Thanks for listening, B66