Not sure,
Welcome to the group... I'm new here to, but like you not new to the problems of A'ism. I'm sorry your son's girlfriend and you all are going through this. I think you reaching out for help is the best thing you can do for yourself, your grandson, and your son. Maybe with you modeling the tools of Alanon you will encourage your son to start going to Alanon and possibly his girlfriend would continue with sobriety. The early stages of sobriety is such a fragile time. My AH has been sober six months and he is still experiencing issues of anger, low self-esteem, discontent, etc. There is nothing you'll be able to do for your son's girlfriend or your son in helping them stay sober but you can work at detaching emotionally with love and taking care of yourself and being supportive to your grandson. Your in a tough position I can see... but you don't have to feel torn apart by everyone's request. Allow them to take care of themselves and it will give you the freedom to take care of yourself. I hope you'll seek out face to face Alanon meetings in your community if you have not already. The meetings and the people can be a wonderful group of support.
Take One Day At A Time and remember to be good to you.
Peace,
Shaun