i was shocked when the counselor not only did not validate what i was sure she would validate, but she turned so much of it back onto me.....for instance, she deeply questioned me about my role in our relationship, and why i kept choosing to stay involved in trying to fix my ex. she asked me why i thought i was so right about how things should be, and why i felt entitled to take on the role of savior....she also asked me what gave me the idea that i felt so knowledgeable about what was right.
You took the words right out of my mouth, Embraced! I went to MC when my marriage was in a crisis and I had this idea that the counsellor was going to see my side and give then-H all kinds of crap for HIS behaviour. Not at all! As in your experience, she turned it back on me. Quite an upsetting moment and what bothered me the most was the smug look on then-H's face. Well, MC lasted all of two sessions but I kept going individually. That period of my life was the real beginning of the ME-work and when I began to embrace the idea that the only person I could control was myself.
It makes US feel better when we can blame others for what is wrong but as long as you keep wanting to create a my side/their side dynamic, you are still caught in co-dependent behaviour.
ARL