wow this looks like something i could had written at 6-7 months. i remember feeling like that exactly. complete change doesnt happen over night. its a process. but this program was transform you completely if you are vigilant and thorough. i am very familiar with filling the void that alcohol once filled with other things (buying, eating, etc). in the first 15 months of sobriety i had gained 45 pounds. even though i showed up emaciated, after 15 months i was 20 pounds over weight from eating crap food excessively, poor diet, and chain smoking. early on, sobriety is really the only thing that matters. everything else balances out. after 15 months i started eating healthy and working out rigorously. finally at 19+ months, i am in excellent shape for the first time in my life. but it would never have happened if i didnt focus exclusively on staying sober the first 15 months. i still buy crap i shouldnt and fill the void in my soul with non-spiritual things...but im staying sober so everyday is a victory. a HUGE VICTORY. cut you're self some slack, relax, and enjoy the fact you didnt drink today because thats a miracle. everything will come together if you are dedicated to sobriety.