Aristo

Since I've stopped drinking (coming up to 7 months now), I still feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I guess in AA terms this is restless , irritable and discontented.

I've suffered from Anxiety badly before - I was on Lexapro for 3 years - but I stopped taking them when I was in re-hab as I was of the impression that my drinking was exacerbating the anxiety (causing panic attacks- yuk they are horrible). Since I have been sober I haven't had a panic attack - but I still get way anxious.

I have been monitoring my behavior and have noticed that I am still seeking comfort in things outside of myself - like alcohol (did), they only work for a very short period of time - or even not at all - I get myself convinced that if I 'do this' or 'buy that' or 'eat a tub of ice cream' - I will feel better - but I rarely do.

I've put on 12kgs since being sober. I don't exercise - even though I used to love it.

I eat sh1t food - last week I ate a whole jumbo size pizza every night ! That's just disgusting !

I have being buying heaps of stuff on e-bay - (getting excitement from bidding on stuff, buying it - then realising that it's crap or I didn't really need it.

I'm smoking (cigs) more than I have ever done

My house looks like a bomb has hit it - feel like I am living in squalor.

None of this behavior I have done before or even thought about before. So I had a think about it and talked to my councilor about it - and it's definitely as a result of me trying to do things to make me feel more comfortable - Swapping the Witch for the Bitch as they say....

It's really pissing me off that I can't be comfortable within myself.

I am doing my bestest best to follow the suggested things - ie - Going to lots of meetings, got a sponsor, member of a homegroup (am secretary there now), doing a steps group - just finished step 5 with my sponsor - pray every night.

When does this un-comfortability go away ??

I haven't shared this at meetings as I am fearful of what other's will think - which is ridiculous as I know there is very little judgement in the rooms.

I have broached this with my sponsor, and therapist as mentioned - but all they really say is that they are not surprised and as long as I am not drinking it is all good.

I just want it all to go away, so I can be healthy, happy at peace and contented - (most of the time anyway)

Any suggestions anyone ??