Hey Karim...If you remember back in May what I did because of my grams health.
Let me tell you...When she came running in the house...Out of everything that is burned in my mind..Is her reaction and the look on her face.
I dont remember anything else up until 3 days later when I came to.
I dont remember doing what I did after the eating all those pills.
I am so glad I did not succeed. I would have just been slamming that nail in her coffin. And I have been using that as an excuse to keep slipping further and further into darkness.
I have finally snapped out of it.
She would never recover from that if I would have succeeded. And thank God for my cousin finding me when he did or I would not be here right now.
Point being..Your mom needs you right now. And as much as it hurts and as hard as it may be to suck it up.
That is the best thing you can do. Is sacrifice just like she has for you and be as strong as you can be and be there.
I can not stress this enough.
Letting yourself falll into yourself because of this and her seeing it isnt going to help her any. Because she will be worrying about you as well.
You need to focus on getting her better and it will...even though it is hard and doesnt seem like it now...It will Benefit you in the long run as well to know you were there for her.
That is what is pulling me out of my darkness I have been in since Dec.
I stopped feeling sorry for myself and took my stand to make sure I am there for her as she has been for me.
And it really has helped me as well even in my recovery.
Karim..You are such a great person...always so helpful and caring.
Please dont ever even play with the thought of suicide.
It would be a shame and such a waste to deprive your mom and the world of such a gentle soul.
You know I am always here for you and sending lot of prayers for you.
