omg, that is the worst isnt it! I used to check his phone too and I always felt horrible about it! but it's tough b/c everytime I would find text & calls to the drug dealers as he was claiming he was clean...
but whenever I checked his phone, his car - anything I always told him. I did not want to display any unhonest behaviors & contribute to the situation. Yes he was always mad as hell! but I always said I did it b/c I cared and was worried. They know why you're doing it...and of course you want the answer, you wouldn't look and wonder right now if you didn't. And you do want to know what kind of r/ship you're in right? You deserve to know the truth and franklly not asking is just helping him ignore the problem
finally I had to stop b/c it was upsetting me just to know he made the calls -- but the truth is I couldn't and can't stop him, and shouldn't try. I feel for you!