I don't know what this says about me, but I'm more concerned about not enabling so that I won't be to be to blame and I want my piece in all of this to be as clean as possible - so that it won't be my fault.
I think it really kills me that my AH blames me - maybe that is my denial of his disease... thinking that he should be able to act like a responsible, rational human being. Anyway I continue to hear from my AH how he is leaving me because of all of the yelling and that this is my fault. THen I hear from the counselors that we have all of these issues (AH claims that he doesn't have any respect from the kids because I have turned the kids against him, and am constantly undermining him and not letting him discipline the kids and that I have cut off his balls) and what kills me is that the counselors buy into his complaining. You would think that they would know better.
So although I know deep down that his accusations are false, it still hurts and makes me think maybe it is my fault.