Just to clarify - I live in California, a community property state. Nothing was legally keeping AH out of the house. In my case, I had enough proof to make it legal, i.e. a restraining order, but the attorneys had a "discussion." When we had the mandatory settlement conference I asked for sole use of the marital property and the judge awarded it. What was said in the judge's chambers I do not know.
I think the broad message of my experience is I stopped relinquishing control of my life to alcoholism. Anything is possible when I believe it is so.