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Old 09-05-2007, 12:54 PM
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chip
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Join Date: Sep 2005
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Welcome to the forum, madscientist.

Congrats on 60 days! For an alcoholic, that's a long time! I'm an alcoholic as well, and I can remember how I felt at 60 days. It wasn't pretty for me either.

Today, in my AA group, we spoke about the "bondage of self". I can relate to what you say about fighting one's self.

I'm not sure when it happened for me, but at some point I had to completely surrender the fight. I prayed for the willingness to give up the self battle, and when I could do this, I started finding a bit of peace. I went back and really worked on the first step. I find that the quality of my sobriety depends heavily on the quality of my surrender. Drinking is no longer an option for me. Once I really accepted this, things got easier.

Today, when those voices come up, I tell them to "shut up". I counter these thoughts with prayer to my HP. This helps me.

Anyway, I hope you'll keep up the good work. Ever hear of PAWS? You may be experiencing some of these symptoms. There is a sticky in this forum that was helpful to me. PAWS is really tough to deal with...

I hope this difficult time passes for you. I hope you'll stick with us, and continue in your recovery.
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