How do i get rid of feeling so guilty?
Re-read Co-dependent No More. Why do you feel so "responsible" for him. He is defined at this point in his life by alcohol. You don't make him drink. He chooses to drink. He is an addict! Scroll up and re-read "What addicts do". I will hurt you again and again and again. If he is hurting all those who touch his life, he is the one who should be feeling guilty!!
How do i stop caring if he hates me or not?
Maybe by thinking a little bit about how he deals with it. He white-knuckles it through the working day then hits the booze as soon as he can. He did that before you went no contact and he is continuing to do it but with more "reason" this time because he doesn't like it that YOU figured out what was best for YOU.
Hugs to Eddy and the pugs and to you too!
We'll all get through this.
ARL