In the last week, cops day and night. Today was the worst of the worst. I want to type every single thing that happened today, but my tears, after 11 hours have finally dried. We've all been there, we all lived it. The names and the days of the week just change. It would sound like I was making some of it up, but my imagination could never come up with the crap that happens. It was worse than a month of jerry springer episodes.
I remember feeling like that, I remember living in hell and not knowing how to get out of the darkness. And I remember being mad at God, feeling so rejected and overlooked. I remember.
Like the song "Old Man River" I was tired of living and scared of dying.
So I prayed. And I reached out to people at a meeting, found support from people who understood, and I prayed some more.
Today I stand in the light. Today I know I was being led, and sometimes I don't move so easy. Today I say a prayer and give my son to God each day and then live my life well and in faith that my son is taken care of.
You can get out of hell too. I'll share my candle and hold your hand and just walk with us a while. I promise it will get better because it did for me.
I remember.
Hugs from one mother's heart to another
