Well Mikee.
"Whiskey bent and hell bound". yep been there. Only one thing Mikee you are already living in the hell we did, and I know it's not fun.
The booze will surrender you one way or the other.
After I did make it to AA I heard something that has stuck with me all these years:
There are 3 UPs for an alcohlic:
Locked UP,
Covered UP, (dead) or
Sobered UP.
You have the CHOICE of not continuing to repeat the insanity. You have the CHOICE to decide which UP you want.
You don't have to stay in AA, however, you might seriously want to give them a call and go to some meetings. Meetings are a great place to feel SAFE, being among sober people who had been where I was, sure helped me a lot and gave me the one thing I had been lacking;
H O P E
I hope some of the above is of help to you.
Love and hugs,