i can feel the pain you are going through. i am so sorry for your hurt.welcome to S.R. this site saved my sanity.i too am the mother of an addict son.untill i found recovery for myself i blamed my self for my son becoming an addict.i learned i did not CAUSE it,i can not CONTROL it & i can not CURE it.my son made the choice to use & continue to use even tho he is 36yrs. old & been using crack since he was 23
it did not take him long to be serve his 1st prison sentence.he has in been more than out the last 12yrs.what saved my sanity is i've learnt to let go & let God, i learned to let go or be dragged.you can have a happy life when you realize that it is his problem & not yours.there is nothing you can do for your son except pray for him.detatch with love & no matter what let him go.an addict blames anybody for there use. it hurts like heck to see our children do the things they do & say the things they say to us but it is not them it is the drug. i do not know if my son will ever hit his bottom, some addicts don't but i know i am going to be ok.please read around & read the sticky at the top of the forum especially "what addicts do".you are among others that know your pain & feel it because we all have been right where you are. you can not change your son but you can change yourself.please keep coming back.we will hold your hand & walk with you. i am saying a prayer for you & your son.hugs, hope