Hi Ladies
Bookmiser, you hit the nail right on the head! This is what I was trying to convey to my son. See, I feel just like you and that is, if she came to my doorstep just to say "Hi, I've missed you!" Great. However, I flat refuse to be used again and start this all over. Thanks for your support.
Marle: How true, how true. People have to take responsibility for themselves. I asked my son if she is working and he said, "HOW?" How? Find a way to help support the child. In the past, with him, I got myself in such a mess by paying his fines and bail, that I got jobs cleaning houses. Do you know how many floors I scrubbed to pay for his messes??? Mr. Dev would kill him if he knew. One bailbondsman years ago let me pay him monthly. Then, there was the phone bills and packages and money on the books. I did this in the AM's and worked in our restaurant in the PM. Tired? Nope, because it was for my son...how could I be tired??
No, I refuse to go through all this again. I may be wrong in thinking all she wants from me is another person to help her, but as I said to my son, when she can call me without calling collect, I would love to talk with her. You're right about getting attached to another child too! Man, have I thought about that. I neither want or need that at this age. Incidentally, a phone call from where she lives to me, would probably cost less than $1. What baloney!
Hi Hope, gosh how sad. This is the same situation as my sons. Two children 19 and 16 with an absent-t father and a mother that was just as bad. Poor kids didn't have a chance. We were the only stability they had in their lives and she took us out of the equation years ago. Now, let her deal with what she did or did not do in raising them. I flat refuse to be bullied into taking care of anyone else!
As I told my son, this is now your responsibility. Do for them now what you failed to do in the past. BE A FATHER! I frankly don't care if he ever calls again with the attitude he had yesterday. Quess he figured I would love to care for more problems.
If that is what he thinks, he has not learned anything yet! When I told him this was the last time I would stand by him, I meant it! It's getting easier and easier to stand up and say NO!
Hugs, Devastated