((((alone))))
Has your sponsor gotten back to you yet? Oh, I hope so.
I'm not in a situation quite like yours right now, but perhaps the relapses have something to do with the feelings of hopelessness, fear, etc. that you're experiencing while in that relationship?
Years ago, I had myself convinced I loved someone who hit me. Just once, but he made me feel horrible in other ways, too. Now I can recognize that it wasn't love but fear of being alone.
Anyway -- I hope things change for you... and soon.
Good luck and let us know how you are, later, ok?