Read something interesting...
I was on Celebrate Recovery's website today and found a list of behaviors that are considered enabling.
1. Protection from natural consequences of behavior.
2. Keeping secrets about behavior from others in order to keep peace.
3. Making excuses for behavior.
4. Bailing out of trouble.
5. Blaming others for dependent persons behavior.
6. Seeing the problem as the result of something else.
7. Avoiding the chemically dependent person.
8. Giving money that is undeserved/unearned.
9. Attempting to control.
10. Making threats that have no follow through or consistency.
11. Taking care of the chemically dependent person.
As everyone knows my AH is not living at home with us and I have told him in order to come back home he needs to get help. SO, I have a problem with #7. I do take his phone calls, but i will not allow him to come home because he is still drinking. That doesn't qualify as avoiding does it?
The way I see it, I'm trying to have peace and serenity in my home for myself and my son. Although, even though I've told him this he still doesn't seem to interested in getting any help. I don't know how long I should wait for anything to happen. I know no one can tell me, I'll know myself. But, in the meantime I wonder if I'm just making things worse.
SO, am i enbling him by not letting him come home (is that avoidance)?
Sue