I think your just simply hitting 'your' bottom when it comes to your husband. Everything is boiling up, and building within you and you have not done anything about it. For me, this anger built up for years, and no amount of anti-depressants, yoga, walking, or running made me feel any better. It in fact, what it did was made me stronger, and I wanted to stick my husband in a ring with no crotch gaurd to protect him.
It's almost impossible trying to stay sane living with an addict. Raising your children in an environment in which you swore at one time or another that you would never do. Pretending that one day, it will get better-and it never does. You give it your all, and then some and the addict does not see one bit of it. The addict is not there, listening to you when you need it most.
Infact the addict-your husband- is heaping stress on your lap. Giving you unnecessary wrinkles, headaches, heartaches, tears, and battles that he wont even put up his dukes and fight for. You have to do all the fighting yourself (to get him clean)
I have been where you are, and I am just rambling. I hope you have better day's ahead Wendy~~