I am an alcoholic, have always had the personality ... but didn't drink obsessively until I was 43 years old. I didn't crave it .. none of that.
But I led an extensively spiritual life ... and I had horses.
I was homless - but had two horses.
It wasn't until a series of unfortunate events led me to lose my faith ... that I gave in. I hardly ever drank or used, because when I was 'high' - I couldn't 'feel' Spirit.,
I didn't give 'in' .//... I gave UP.