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couple of questions for the people here

Old 08-31-2007, 12:39 AM
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couple of questions for the people here

always wondered as a recovering alcoholic (not all of you here are but some of you are) is there anything you miss about the days when you could drink? christmas? new years?

also is it normal not to get a hangover, everyone talks about how bad they are but I have never had one, never been sick, no headaches, nothing.
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Old 08-31-2007, 12:50 AM
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Hi KING -

How's school??? You started yet???
Ok. sorry - supposed to answer YOUR q's.

Until the END of my drinking, when I reached that 'final' stage - I'd hardly ever experienced hangovers, per se, either.
(you like that? 'per se' ... makes me sound like I've read books, or something)

I'd have bad side effects from the amazing amout of redbull I drank....caffeine overload, but not so much the liquor. At least, not like others. Nothing a big drink of water couldn't get rid of.

No, I don't miss 'holiday' drinking. It's like gonig back to the way I always was.
But I only 'drank' like the alcoholic I am for five years. I don't have a twentysomething year habitual history of alcohol use.
Alcoholic personality - oh yes. no doubt.
But actual ABUSE ... only five years.
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Old 08-31-2007, 12:52 AM
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Originally Posted by barb dwyer View Post
Hi KING -

How's school??? You started yet???
Ok. sorry - supposed to answer YOUR q's.

Until the END of my drinking, when I reached that 'final' stage - I'd hardly ever experienced hangovers, per se, either.
(you like that? 'per se' ... makes me sound like I've read books, or something)

I'd have bad side effects from the amazing amout of redbull I drank....caffeine overload, but not so much the liquor. At least, not like others. Nothing a big drink of water couldn't get rid of.

No, I don't miss 'holiday' drinking. It's like gonig back to the way I always was.
But I only 'drank' like the alcoholic I am for five years. I don't have a twentysomething year habitual history of alcohol use.
Alcoholic personality - oh yes. no doubt.
But actual ABUSE ... only five years.
no I havent started I am starting in 6 days
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Old 08-31-2007, 01:00 AM
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I'm excited for you. And proud of you.
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Old 08-31-2007, 02:19 AM
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King I have had so many first in my first year sober and I can honestly say I do not miss drinking at all, especially on Holidays, I actually remember all of them and actually participate in them. My first Christmas sober was great, it was the first time in years I set up the tree and decorated it. Oh yea I was amazed how much better the trees lights looked hung by a sober person (me) compared to how they looked on the rare occasions I did them drunk.

In regards to hangovers the only time I had them was with wine and if I mixed hard liquor & beer, the only thing I ever had the morning after was one of 2 things, I was in a fog or still half lit.
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Old 08-31-2007, 03:12 AM
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Originally Posted by barb dwyer View Post
Hi KING -

How's school??? You started yet???
Ok. sorry - supposed to answer YOUR q's.

Until the END of my drinking, when I reached that 'final' stage - I'd hardly ever experienced hangovers, per se, either.
(you like that? 'per se' ... makes me sound like I've read books, or something)

I'd have bad side effects from the amazing amout of redbull I drank....caffeine overload, but not so much the liquor. At least, not like others. Nothing a big drink of water couldn't get rid of.

No, I don't miss 'holiday' drinking. It's like gonig back to the way I always was.
But I only 'drank' like the alcoholic I am for five years. I don't have a twentysomething year habitual history of alcohol use.
Alcoholic personality - oh yes. no doubt.
But actual ABUSE ... only five years.
question what is an "alcoholic personality"? cause by the way you word it, you can have an alcoholic personality but not be an alcoholic,

I know for a fact that I am NOT an alcoholic thers ZERO doubt in my mind about that (there was when I came to SR asfter the summer of 06 but not now)

However I do not know if I have an alcoholic personalty cause quite frankly I dont know what it is
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Old 08-31-2007, 03:22 AM
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well, if you're six years old, and exhibit certain personality traits - yeah.
There's a woman in the rooms who jokes that she's saving for one child's college, and the other child's first rehab.
(of course not when the kids are there)

but yes - there's certain personality traits that we share. I've said for yeras now that it's a personality long before it becomes a substance.
That's what I mean.

Alcoholism ... is far more than liquid.

Like if you've got the personality, but aren't drinking, you could be obsessed over food, eating, gambling, (or as in my cas) have a terrible affair with horses ... it's the compulsion ...
'
It's always around ... whether we're drinking or not.

There's advantages, too ...

for us, the colors are a little brighter, relationships a bit more intense, the sky is a little bluer ... stuff like that.
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Old 08-31-2007, 03:26 AM
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I am an alcoholic, have always had the personality ... but didn't drink obsessively until I was 43 years old. I didn't crave it .. none of that.

But I led an extensively spiritual life ... and I had horses.
I was homless - but had two horses.

It wasn't until a series of unfortunate events led me to lose my faith ... that I gave in. I hardly ever drank or used, because when I was 'high' - I couldn't 'feel' Spirit.,

I didn't give 'in' .//... I gave UP.
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Old 08-31-2007, 03:47 AM
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Well I am an alcoholic and I share certain traits with almost every alcoholic I know, I had these traits before I had my first drink and drinking just made them worse.

I was an egomanic with an inferiority complex. The world revolved around me, I was a perfectionist, I worried about what other people thought of me at the same time I was convinced that everything that went wrong in my life was caused directly or indirectly by some one else. I had an extreme fear of failure and of success. I lied to & manipulated people for my own good only. I had high expectations of others even though the very things that I expected of them I did not do myself.

Just a few traits of this alcoholic and many others I know. Self centered & self willed, I knew it all!

When I was drinking I did not have a problem with drinking, the only people who had a problem with my drinking were those around me that I loved.

I know for a fact that I am NOT an alcoholic thers ZERO doubt in my mind about that (there was when I came to SR asfter the summer of 06 but not now)
King what convinced you that you were not an alcoholic?

Did you quit drinking for a year with no problems?

Are you able to go to a bar, have 1 drink and go home every day for a week without having any more then one a day?

Are you able to drink half a drink and leave the rest because it is time to go?
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Old 08-31-2007, 08:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Tazman53 View Post
Well I am an alcoholic and I share certain traits with almost every alcoholic I know, I had these traits before I had my first drink and drinking just made them worse.

I was an egomanic with an inferiority complex. The world revolved around me, I was a perfectionist, I worried about what other people thought of me at the same time I was convinced that everything that went wrong in my life was caused directly or indirectly by some one else. I had an extreme fear of failure and of success. I lied to & manipulated people for my own good only. I had high expectations of others even though the very things that I expected of them I did not do myself.

Just a few traits of this alcoholic and many others I know. Self centered & self willed, I knew it all!

When I was drinking I did not have a problem with drinking, the only people who had a problem with my drinking were those around me that I loved.

King what convinced you that you were not an alcoholic?

Did you quit drinking for a year with no problems?

Are you able to go to a bar, have 1 drink and go home every day for a week without having any more then one a day?

Are you able to drink half a drink and leave the rest because it is time to go?
what convinced me? well I dont NEED alcohol to funtion like alcoholics do, I've been out to bars twice in the last 4 months
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Old 08-31-2007, 01:06 PM
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King,
recovery from alcoholism for me is about growing, moving forward,and not dwelling in nor romanticising nor making fond memories bigger than the present moment.

I dont miss the past. its over.

I enjoy sobriety today. Its way better than I imagined it would be. every day, even the tough ones.
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Old 08-31-2007, 01:06 PM
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Originally Posted by THE KING View Post
....is there anything you miss about the days when you could drink? christmas? new years?
Sure, there are some things I miss. Alcohol made it easy for me to be around large groups of people. I lost many of my inhabitations and would talk to anybody. But the flip side of that is: I would drink too much and say some really stupid stuff, tick people with my rude and inappropriate behavior, and start some crap with total strangers.

Today I manage to get out to social events without resorting to drink so as to ease my anxiety. I admit it isn’t always easy and sometimes I take a psych med to help me with my anxiety. But for the most part I don’t use the meds and I am learning to feel the anxiety and do it anyway.
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Old 08-31-2007, 02:05 PM
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Originally Posted by THE KING View Post
always wondered as a recovering alcoholic (not all of you here are but some of you are) is there anything you miss about the days when you could drink?

also is it normal not to get a hangover, everyone talks about how bad they are but I have never had one, never been sick, no headaches, nothing.
There is nothing I miss about not being able to drink.

There were a couple of times early in recovery when after a fight with my spouse I would wish i could go to a bar and get smashed and engage in some wife bashing with the boys like i usually did but i was able to see the self destrutiveness in such a behaviour.

There was also a time when hangovers never bothered me either.I could party until 1 am on a weekday and be up by 6 am for work ,but as my disease progressed and my condition worsened, hangovers became a daily occurence.
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Old 08-31-2007, 02:22 PM
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I miss waking up in the morning, feeling like hell, not remembering anything of last night and hearing:

Do you know what you did last night!!!???

I hated those 8 words with a passion.

Yeah I miss that a lot.

Ted
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Old 08-31-2007, 02:46 PM
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This may go against the grain, but I drank for 26+ years and most of that, all but the last couple were in very social and very upscale, (for the most part), bars and clubs. I still miss after 8 years of sobriety certain wines, good single malt scotch and my old standby Canadian Club. I miss cognac after diner and all the latest and greatest new cocktails. I date women who do drink and because of business and social commitments I find myself around alcohol all the time.

DO I MISS IT? Yes, not enough to want the life back that I had towards the end. I have a degree in Economics and one of the maxims of that discipline is that: THINGS COST WHAT WE GIVE UP TO GET THEM. Simply put, I CAN’T AFFORD THE PRICE of any of the alcohol that I just mentioned. I attend AA and stay active in the fellowship so that I guard against "romancing" my past. I enjoy social situations sober; and because of that the people who are there with me enjoy them too.

My sponsor asks me periodically;
Q. Jon, do you ever WANT a drink?
A. Yes, particularly when I want to "be like the other kids."
Q. Jon, do you NEED a drink?
A. NO.

Big difference from a few years ago.

Jon
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Old 08-31-2007, 02:52 PM
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Originally Posted by miss communicat View Post
King,
recovery from alcoholism for me is about growing, moving forward,and not dwelling in nor romanticising nor making fond memories bigger than the present moment.

I dont miss the past. its over.

I enjoy sobriety today. Its way better than I imagined it would be. every day, even the tough ones.
Yeah...what she said
I wouldn't want that hell again in my life.

Tradition 3; The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop......"

I had crashed through the bottom floor of the elevator..I didn't just have the desire... I had a desperate yearning for something different...and .I wanted to live...and I am...and "I have been rocketed into the fourth demisinion of existence' ...One I never dreamed possible until 1985

Even when I fell in a "Pot Hole", one of those life on life terms things...i had no desire to drink or to use..
"Chemical peace of mind has been removed" Thank God!!!
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Old 08-31-2007, 03:05 PM
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hello!! i would like to join this convo!! king, i have a question, because i am always just curious!!! if you know u are not an alcoholic why still visit the forums?!?! ive always just kinda wondered that? for the past year i was out drinking, i still would occassionally visit the forums, even tho i wasnt an alcoholic, thats just what i told myself! obviously i had to drink a little more to find out or should i say remind myself! something to consider that i learned a long time ago, non alcoholics usually dont question whether or not they are an alcoholic!! i thought that was nuts, i thought everyone questioned their drinking!! my mom would never find this site and come on here and post nor would my mom question her drinking, and why, because shes not alcoholic!!! im 26 and i dont need alcohol to function either, for me it's more i dont like the person i become while drinking! i once heard someone say, its not how much you drink, how often you drink, but its what happens to you when you drink!

everyone realizes at their own time and the sad fact is some people never realize! it took me to get completely honest with myself. i lied so much to the people around me that i really started believing my own lies!!

thanks for starting this friend, its very interesting and of course, it helps me stay sober today!!!
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Old 08-31-2007, 05:30 PM
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Originally Posted by THE KING View Post
always wondered as a recovering alcoholic (not all of you here are but some of you are) is there anything you miss about the days when you could drink? christmas? new years?

also is it normal not to get a hangover, everyone talks about how bad they are but I have never had one, never been sick, no headaches, nothing.
Interesting questions as well as the responses that they have recieved.

What do I miss about the days when I could drink? I think it would be easier for me to answer, what don't I miss, but I will give it a try. Honestly there is nothing that I miss, as in regret not having any longer. At one time I did miss the ability to utilize alcohol to feel more "normal" around groups of people. I don't feel that way anymore, I learned how to feel good about myself without using liquid courage thanks to AA. At one time I did miss that first drink when out to dinner, but I know how that scenerio goes. One drink leads to another and another and so on. So I do not miss that anymore. I even go to dinner with friends that drink, although I must say they are definately normal drinkers (they can leave a half of a glass of wine on the table even if it was their only one. Or just have one drink with dinner). I guess that I am rather content with not drinking. I do not dwell on the not drinking, what I work on is how to apply the steps to my everyday life so I can continue to have peace and contentment in my life.

Hangovers? I did not get them for nearly 16 years of my drinking. I could even mix several types of alcohol without having them. I was the one who would go into a resturant or bar and order a different drink everytime I ordered. I might have 20 different drinks in one night and it didn't bother me. It was only in the last 4 to 5 years of my drinking that I started to experience hangovers. By then my liver had seen some damage, I was constantly dehydrated, and definately was not getting the nutrition that my body needed so it is no wonder I was getting hangovers as I am sure my body was rather toxic. I guess that hangovers are an individual thing. My sponsor swore she never had hangovers or blackouts. One day while talking with her sponsor though she referred to a "brown out", a memory lapse, that occured while drinking. Her sponsor pointed out that what she was considering a "brown out" was in fact a black out. I do believe that to some degree the individual experiencing the hangover or black out is the one who has to interpret whether or not they are having one. Some people think a hangover is being tired the next day, some headaches, some nausea, some dizzyness, and so on. If I went by some people's definitions then I would have to say that since I was tired many times after drinking I probably had hangovers most of my drinking years.

Oh well, that is my 2 cents worth.
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Old 09-01-2007, 11:24 AM
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Frankly, I rarely felt hungover. And in addition, I could drink other people under the table. Me, a 125 pound female. I remember when one of my brothers noticed my amazing capacity and told me he thought it spelled trouble. I did have a lot of fun on the occasions when I drank with friends in relatively safe situations like pub-type places after a day on the ski slopes, but my drinking deteriorated into closet-style because I discovered it would make the pain of anxiety go away on a regular basis.

However, I had somehow dealt (not well) with anxiety as an adult prior to my discovery of alcohol, and am dealing with it again in sobriety. No, I don't miss drinking all that much. I'd rather have the time and capacity to "get things done" and learn and grow, which I had lost while drinking. Plus I was on my way down the slippery slope of alcoholism, I'm convinced, and didn't care to find a bottom any more painful than where I was, which was bad enough.

When I came into the rooms, there were those who thought I couldn't possibly be an alcoholic because I hadn't lost enough. Well, maybe not to their eyes. Anyone hanging around a substance abuse forum who is trying to convince him or her self of not having a problem, is welcome to go back out and experiment some more. But honestly, I hate to say that because some of those who go back out fail to find their way back, and the disease too often ends up with death.

Blessings from the Snowgoose.
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Old 09-01-2007, 03:35 PM
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Originally Posted by barb dwyer View Post

There's advantages, too ...

for us, the colors are a little brighter, relationships a bit more intense, the sky is a little bluer ... stuff like that.
For some reason your statement really hit me. I thing there is a great deal of truth in that.

You've really got me thinking...

Ted
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