Can I comment on the same quote cece did?
As far as feeling responsible, I think that comes from us making a boundary then feeling guilty we made a boundary.
Boundaries are safety lines we draw to protect ourselves, not the addict.
If they can not accept our boundary, we shouldn't have to feel guilty about it. Remember, addicts are the worlds best manipulators, and guilt trips are their forte.
Without some kind of boundary, some kind of statement that says, "this is as far as I will go, and no farther", we set our selves up to be walked on and taken advantage of, which then turns into resentment on our part.
We must be willing to stand up for our boundaries, to mean it and to follow through. Sure, the addict will get pissed, but so what? Let them get mad! Let them pitch a fit. Eventually, they will learn they can no longer get away with certian things with us any more. And we will experience peace because we aren't allowing ourselves to be taken advantage of any more.
Take care my dear. I do hope things improve for you soon.