My AD was never a drinker either, but when she was staying off of drugs she started to drink. I guess substituting one for the other. Right now she is off of both and doing pretty well. I don't let myself get to excited about that though.
I also have been isolating myself from my friends. I have been spending a lot of time alone. That is very out of character for me. I usually do a lot of things with friends.
Sometimes a little of being alone isn't so bad because it helps me to sort things out.
I still go to my summer place and spend time with family there. I like being with my sisters because they know everything that is going on in my life and they stick by me and support me. It is funny that you posted this today because I was just wishing that I could have my old life back the way it used to be before drugs and all of the dysfunction that it has caused in my family. I want to be free, I don't want to live with this monkey on my back. I am trying to work on my recovery but somedays it overtakes me and I feel tired and I just can't fight it anymore. I guess I just don't want to have to work at this recovery everyday.....it is such a struggle for me. I didn't mean to ramble on.....this post was a trigger for me because of how I am feeling today.
You are not alone in your feelings.
Sending hugs and prayers your way................Lo