my mind make to much "noise" now and i heve all many fears about the future
I also had the noise in my mind, I call it the commitee, when I first went to AA King alcohol was at the head of the commitee in my head and he was making sure I knew every
imagined reason in the world I should not go to an AA meeting or quit drinking. The commitee led by King Alcohol brought about all of the shame I had developed over a 40 year drinking career, all the guilt I felt for things I had done and people I had hurt, most of all King Alcohol brought my fears out!!!! King alcohol still held out that carrot that the next time I drank it would be different, but in my case I had finally learned that the carrot was a lie, it was never different when I drank!
In AA I have learned how to quiet that commitee in my head, through working the steps I have overcome, the guilt, shame, fears, & anger I had for many years.
In AA I have learned to live in the day, the future I have no control over, I only have today, I can control what I do today, as a result I do not drink a day at a time, I might just drink tomorrow, but I am not going to worry about that, today I have chose not to drink.
what will be with me and what people will think about me (family ' freinds) and how can i live with the knowledge that im an alcholic?
Well in my case I have gone from family and friends thinking/knowing I was a drunk to family and friends being proud of me for getting sober and a family member & friend coming to me when they realized they had a drinking problem.
Coming to the knowledge that I am an alcoholic was the very knowledge that started me on the path to sobriety and has led to me becoming a far better person then I was even before I started drinking thanks to AA.
i will be less person then other ? people will laugh at me for the rest of my life???
I felt the same way at first, I have learned now that those thoughts were generated by the commitee in my head trying to make me give up on trying to get sober. I learned that people felt I was less then them when I was drunk and thier equal when sober, I also learned that people laughed at me when I was drunk, they no longer laugh at me sober.
why i cant be like a normal person drinking 2 glasses and thats it ? why ???
I am an alcoholic, I have a disease which the only way to control it is to not drink at all.... total abstinance, that is why. If you are an alcoholic you have a disease and that is why you can not drink like a normal person.