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quiting and shamed !

Old 08-22-2007, 04:50 AM
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Unhappy quiting and shamed !

Hi , i woke up this morning with the decision to recover from alchole . last night was the first time i admited to other person ..(other then me ) that im an alcholic . i saw tha aa meeting and i realy want to go but the shame is very very hard .... any meetings with eyes cover ?
any tips .??? suggestion ?
10x t
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Old 08-22-2007, 05:00 AM
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Welcome to our SR Alcoholism Forum

Yes...we do understand your feelings because many
of us shared them too.
The thing about AA is there you will find support
and others just like you and me.

I suggest you speak with your doctor before quitting abruptly.
De toxing is a medical issue and can be dangerous.

Keep posting....you are making a wise healthy decision.
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Old 08-22-2007, 05:20 AM
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Welcome to SR taltalonet, as Carol suggested I would suggest seeing your doctor before quitting abrubtly, withdrawal from alcohol can and does kill in certain cases.

In regards to going to your first AA meeting I have a few suggestions:

1. look up a beginners meeting in your area and go to it.
2. If you do not want to go alone to a meeting, call your local AA hotline and talk to them, they may be able to arrange for someone to meet you at a meeting or maybe even give you a ride to one.

Keep in mind a few things, you do not have to say a word if you choose not to, just sit in the back and listen.

Most important is when listening is try not to look for differences between you and those speaking, listen for things you can relate to.

Every alcoholic is different, but there are things we have in common also.

I would reccommend if possible to get to the meeting about 15 minutes early and plan on hanging around and talking for a bit after the meeting.

Keep in mind that AA only works if you work it, it takes going to a lot of meetings before you will start to get what is going on, it does help a lot if you ask someone to be your temporary sponsor, they can explain things to you that you may have questions about.

Grab pamphelets at the meeting and read them.

Going to that first meeting is very hard, my disease was screaming at me every reason you can think of in the world to not go!

It is damn scary, I was scared to death when I went to my first one (Sober). Within 10 minutes I started to realize that every person in that room knew exactly what I was feeling because they had been in the same spot I was in..... scared and feeling lost..... hurting physically and mentally!

In a short amount of time you will find for the first time in your life people who understand you.

In AA I have found that it does not matter if someone is a doctor, lawyer, preacher, electrician, computor tech, grocery clerk, unemployed, or retired that we all have a common bond..... alcoholism! There is no rank or status, you will find the lawyer making coffee while the unemployed person is leading the meeting, you will find the construction person greeting people at the door while the doctor after the meeting may be cleaning the coffee pots.

In AA you will find that we are all equal, we are all alcoholics simply working on staying sober one day at a time and helping other alcoholics get and stay sober.
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Old 08-22-2007, 05:25 AM
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Smile Welcome T

Why feel ashamed in an AA meeting? Everyone else in the room is alcoholic too. And if they’re not, then they are even sicker than the rest.


there is no booze in this tea!
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Old 08-22-2007, 05:37 AM
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HI..and thanks for the tips
my mind make to much "noise" now and i heve all many fears about the future ..what will be with me and what people will think about me (family ' freinds) and how can i live with the knowledge that im an alcholic? how will it effect my life ? i will be less person then other ? people will laugh at me for the rest of my life???
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Old 08-22-2007, 05:50 AM
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Originally Posted by taltalonet View Post
… my mind make to much "noise" now and I have all many fears about the future …
Yes, thinking too much, and especially worrying too much, is an alcoholic trait.

Originally Posted by taltalonet View Post
what will be with me and what people will think about me (family ' friends)
You can always tell your family and friends about your alcoholism later. But chances are, they already know. My friends and family feel better since I’ve sobered up, and I've made a whole bunch of new friends!

Originally Posted by taltalonet View Post
and how can I live with the knowledge that I’m an alcoholic?
Much better than someone who doesn’t know!

Originally Posted by taltalonet View Post
how will it effect my life?
Depends on what you do about it. You can have a great life.

Originally Posted by taltalonet View Post
I will be less person then other?
I don't think there is any such thing.

Originally Posted by taltalonet View Post
people will laugh at me for the rest of my life???
No one laughs at me because of my alcoholism. They laugh at me for all kinds of other stuff though, but it’s cool. Sometimes it makes me feel more a part of everyone.
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Old 08-22-2007, 05:56 AM
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taltalonet, everyone here has been in your position; as a veteran aa person I can tell you that in Manhattan (I have moved from there) you see anyone and everyone. And we all share this problem.

Trust the program, and NEVER think that any one person has all the answers.

Hugs,
Jhana
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Old 08-22-2007, 06:19 AM
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Im from israel ,28 yers old , working on compter company ,running 10 km 4 times in a week ,doing yoga, finshing my master in history.
how can it be ??????????
why i cant be like a normal person drinking 2 glasses and thats it ? why ???
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Old 08-22-2007, 06:47 AM
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It's because you have an addiction to alcohol. We would all stop at two glasses if we could and most of us have tried countless times to do that. But, we can't. And, it has nothing to do with age, job or education. But, you can deal with your addiction and move forward in your life. One thing I have learned in recovery is to not care about what other people think of me.
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Old 08-22-2007, 06:54 AM
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my mind make to much "noise" now and i heve all many fears about the future
I also had the noise in my mind, I call it the commitee, when I first went to AA King alcohol was at the head of the commitee in my head and he was making sure I knew every imagined reason in the world I should not go to an AA meeting or quit drinking. The commitee led by King Alcohol brought about all of the shame I had developed over a 40 year drinking career, all the guilt I felt for things I had done and people I had hurt, most of all King Alcohol brought my fears out!!!! King alcohol still held out that carrot that the next time I drank it would be different, but in my case I had finally learned that the carrot was a lie, it was never different when I drank!

In AA I have learned how to quiet that commitee in my head, through working the steps I have overcome, the guilt, shame, fears, & anger I had for many years.

In AA I have learned to live in the day, the future I have no control over, I only have today, I can control what I do today, as a result I do not drink a day at a time, I might just drink tomorrow, but I am not going to worry about that, today I have chose not to drink.
what will be with me and what people will think about me (family ' freinds) and how can i live with the knowledge that im an alcholic?
Well in my case I have gone from family and friends thinking/knowing I was a drunk to family and friends being proud of me for getting sober and a family member & friend coming to me when they realized they had a drinking problem.

Coming to the knowledge that I am an alcoholic was the very knowledge that started me on the path to sobriety and has led to me becoming a far better person then I was even before I started drinking thanks to AA.

i will be less person then other ? people will laugh at me for the rest of my life???
I felt the same way at first, I have learned now that those thoughts were generated by the commitee in my head trying to make me give up on trying to get sober. I learned that people felt I was less then them when I was drunk and thier equal when sober, I also learned that people laughed at me when I was drunk, they no longer laugh at me sober.

why i cant be like a normal person drinking 2 glasses and thats it ? why ???
I am an alcoholic, I have a disease which the only way to control it is to not drink at all.... total abstinance, that is why. If you are an alcoholic you have a disease and that is why you can not drink like a normal person.
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Old 08-22-2007, 06:58 AM
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Smile No, no – there is no why! – Master Yoda.

There are many so-called great men that are alcoholic. It is just the way it is. If you are an alcoholic you have a disease (so says the AMA). Why is a diabetic a diabetic? I don’t know, perhaps one day figuring it out might mean something, but for now, insulin and diet is the solution.

There are those that let the “why” question stand in the way of their recovery. Don’t fall for that one. We have a saying around here that is apropos: let’s not worry about how the horse got stuck in the mud, let’s just get it out.

Actually I believe it is great to explore but not at the expense of foregoing treatment – especially when AA is such a wonderful program.

What is a veteran AA person?

Last edited by Barto; 08-22-2007 at 07:16 AM.
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Old 08-22-2007, 07:02 AM
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What is a veteran AA person?
Someone who woke up this morning earlier then I did and is still sober today!
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Old 08-22-2007, 07:07 AM
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Talking

That’s not fair. You’re on the East Coast. I’m not. You’re gonna’ beat me almost everyday! LOL.
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Old 08-22-2007, 07:19 AM
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To make matters even worse Barto I get up at 3:30AM EST M-F! LOL
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Old 08-22-2007, 07:25 AM
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Talking Than I take it back.

You’re going to beat me everyday!
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Old 08-22-2007, 10:50 AM
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i feel so much hatefull and anger about my self becaus i know its my fault and i cant blame anyone but my self ...im sitting here all day crying about whatt i did to myself... my life, family and friends..
i heve alot of bed feelings comingup and its hard...
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Old 08-22-2007, 11:13 AM
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You are having the alcoholic guilts
we all did too. Hugs

Please read this link...lots of info on the disease we have

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

There is an awesome sober life to be had
come join the AA winners!
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Old 08-22-2007, 11:16 AM
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welcome - just try to stay in the present. one day at a time, k
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Old 08-22-2007, 11:59 AM
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It is a condition (many believe we are born with). You didn’t do it to yourself, but you do have some control over changing. Keep reading. Stay here and go to a couple of meetings.
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Old 08-22-2007, 12:22 PM
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the meeting is on sunday 19:00 they heve one group and one meeting in a week .
i alredy schedule a psychologist nothing avilebel until 1 september .
now i think i heve nothing to do accepet seeing my fears and bad feelings
and talking to you
thanks you really helping me !
i want to be strong ..and be after ...
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