Loves - Stress will kill you, no question about it. I had a stroke at the age of 32. I still have TIA attacks. Do you think that woke me up? NO. I just jumped right back into the stress mill. Nope, I didn't start paying attention until my third or fourth two week hospital stay right before joining this forum. They quarantined me for two weeks with menengitis symptoms but never did find out what was wrong. Brought in infectious disease specialists, neurololigist, nyphrologists, heart specialist, lung specialists, got test results back that they had never seen before from the spinal tap, I had 4 antiboties where I was supposed to have thousands. I did every test there is on my heart, including the one they inject the radio active stuff and you sit in a chair that rotates you around instead of the machine. I had way too much iron in my system (my body was poisining my own body) I had too much calcium. My body was producing so many indorphins from stress, that all those vitimins and minerals were not being absorbed, they were just building up in my body and doing damage. I was under so much stress that my body was shutting down. Without going into all of it, lets just say that I'm in the medical journals with my DNA and blood samples and tissue samples in New York, California, Florida and every medical research school in the country. And my own body was doing it to myself, from stress. My imune system sensed that something was wrong with me, couldn't find what was wrong so it attacked everything. That's the closest explaination that I ever got. I ended up having to stop eating foods rich in iron or calcium, until they could get me back to being able to absorb them. I was litterally killing myself.
I hurt everywhere, my chest constantly felt like someone was squeezing my heart, I was so tired and no matter how much sleep I got, I was still tired.
Doc sat me down and was real blunt one day. We went over the things that we knew were wrong, some pretty serious things, then he said we have to address the worst one. I had to eleviate the stress or die. I argued with him, how can I do that with three kids, finacial problems from being sick, no help, no one to turn to, how in this world do I eleviate the stress? He said quite simply, well, how do all yours problems work out if you are dead? What's the worst that can happen if this doesn't get done or that? At least you are alive, if you are dead, then not only doesn't it get done, but you don't have a chance to do any thing about it later either.
It was so bad that he told me if I didn't get a handle on my stress, that I needed to find a home for my kids, make out my will and give up.
He was really mad at me. I changed my whole attitude that day. I can't control what happens around me, and lord knows I've had some pretty stressful things happen, but I can control how I let it affect me. I can control what people I have around me, if they bring me stress, I don't need them around. If something doesn't get done, so what, it's not the end of the world, if my finances go to crap and bills don't get paid, well, I'm alive, I can find a roof over my head even if it is a shelter, I'm alive.
I always remind myself how many people out there have it so much worse than I do, no matter how bad the situation, I start my "I'm thankful list". That always pulls be back into a positive instead of the negative that stress holds me down to.
I gave it all up, every bit of it, I placed in HP's hands and I have gotten better and better.
So after that long story, my advice to you, is give it all up, hand it over to your HP, find a doctor that will do a complete workup on you, make payment arrangements, go to the health clinic, contact vocational rehab. (they pay for your medical to help get you back to work) do whatever you have to do to find out what is wrong, and let go of anything that is causing you stress. Get your life back, get your health back, start living for Kris.
You want to be there to watch Wyatt grow up.
Lots of Love, Hugs and Prayers going out to you.
B