Sigh...........

Old 08-20-2007, 07:48 PM
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Unhappy Sigh...........

Life's a B word, then you wind up in a hospital where the desk clerk refers to you not by your name, but by "The lady with the tattoo on her leg".

I'm still struggling with health issues and of course got the stomach flu from the kids over the weekend I was watching my grandson. That completely hit me like a sucker punch. On top of everything else I've been dealing with I was now vomiting with a fever since Saturday. Whatever happened to the 24 hour stomach virus?? It must have evolved or getting older makes you hang on to it longer..........sigh.

Anyways, I was laying down on the couch and all of the sudden a sharp pain ran up my left arm, was in my neck and back, down the back of my legs and my lower back and stomach. I don't mean to sound like a hypochondriac but instantly I thought "heart attack".

It is true what they say when you're about to die....or at least think you are. I wasn't afraid. I didn't even dial 911! I don't remember much except the extreme pain I was in, looking at my dog sitting next to me with this worried look on her face then waking up the next day with my dog still watching over me licking me in the face.

She looked so tired like she had been up all night watching over me. My precious little girl must have known something was wrong.

Well, today came and my oldest daughter came over and took me to the ER only she wanted to take me to one out of town. She heard I might get better care there and maybe this time someone would be able to figure out once and for all what is causing all these health issues.

I've been so ill I've hardly been working.......so much for having 2 jobs huh? I've been accepting financial help from an unlikely source ( my exabf!! ). I've been trying to look at it as pay back for all the money he had taken from me in the past but it still feels like I'm making a deal with the devil and I don't like it, but I haven't had much of a choice lately.

Anyways, we get to this hospital and I tell them my symptoms....all 10 billion of them...which of course is an exaggeration, but sure doesn't feel like it. So we wait.....and we wait....and we wait......

About an hour later I hear the lady at the desk say "that lady over there with the tattoo on her leg" WTF!! I have a name and it was on the registration form!!

So we get in and they do an EKG. They guy gets done, looks at it and says "It's not too bad. I think you'll live." WTF!! This guy isn't even a doctor. He hooks the little thingies on you and turns the machine on. He's not even supposed to make any comments to you at all!! I was really upset. This was highly unprofessional to say the least.

So then we sat there and waited.......and waited......and waited....and waited. After 3 more hours the lady came in to take some blood. AFTER complaining about how little she gets paid there she jukes my arm with the needle and says "There's been a needle in this vein recently. I can tell because there's scar tissue built up." Only she said it like she was accusing me of shooting up drugs or something!!

It takes a lot to ruffle my feathers, but this old bird had heard enough and I told her I was just in another hospital a few weeks back for a kidney infection and actually smacked the flebotomist there for sticking the blasted needle in my arm about 6 times before he got it right! "Oh" she says, now giggling......."I'd better get it right then I guess".

I was so irritated at that point. The whole time we were there we never once saw a doctor. It really started to feel like I was in one of those low budget horror movies and all I knew is I needed to get out of there. Which is EXACTLY what I did.

I know what has brought all of this about. STRESS!! Stress dated back to the days with my exabf.

I'm still a medical mystery LOL.......and will be until someone with some sense can finally find out the exact cause of what's wrong and how I can fix it.

I feel it's truly a miracle I'm still here to share this with you and I PRAY someone reads this and pays attention.

It's not worth it y'all. Stress is a killer. I'm only 39!! I shouldn't be going through this but I am.

I know what it's like to put off taking care of yourself because you're too preoccupied with the addict(s) in your life, but PLEASE........if this were to be the last thing I ever write, take the time to take care of yourself. It's so important.

An addict is going to do what they're going to do no matter what. If I had spent more time praying and less time worrying and stressing over my ex, I'd be in a much better place health wise right now.
Hugs
Kris
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Old 08-20-2007, 07:52 PM
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I hope that you typing this means today you are feeling better?

Sorry you had to go through that, Loves... It is disheartening to think that care GIVERS can be so meanhearted.


(((Hugs)))
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Old 08-20-2007, 08:29 PM
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i am sorry you are having such a hard time. i wish they could find out what is going on with you. stress does cause your body harm in alot of different ways. i hope you are soon back to your old self. sending prayers up. hugs,
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Old 08-20-2007, 08:57 PM
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Awww. Shall we send the Codie bus up to tell that NURSE a thing or 2? I'd kick her right in the shins if it would make you feel better....



Take care of you. Get some rest, treat yourself like you would your best friend if SHE was sick.

Cats
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Old 08-20-2007, 09:04 PM
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((((((hugs))))))

I was just thinking this afternoon about how much I missed you.
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Old 08-21-2007, 02:06 AM
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Loves, do you have a family doctor you could see? I don't like that they didn't figure out what was wrong.

And...do some reading, find yourself some anti-stress exercises both physical and mental and start working them. Just walking and talking to God helps me and finding a quiet place where I can just sit in nature and feel the serenity.

Stress does make us sick, I struggled with anxiety attacks for years and almost never have any now...but don't just write this off to stress without talking to your doctor.

And I'll be right behind Cats for a visit to that nurse and show her the wrath of the steel toed bunny slippers.

Hugs
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Old 08-21-2007, 02:47 AM
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Loves, I'm sorry you are having such troubles. All your recent health issues are
very serious. They are beyond stress related symptoms as they are indeed affecting your physical well being. Please locate and see a doctor who can work with you to get a proper diagnosis. Do it today!
Hugs
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Old 08-21-2007, 03:19 AM
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I don't have a family doctor. Unfortunately no health insurance stands in the way of me seeing anyone other than in the clinic and going to the ER. The clinic keeps sending me to the ER. Once I explain to the ER what's going on they seem to look for one thing and one thing only! It's very frustrating when all of the research I've done makes me have everything from hypertension to diabetes to heart disease.

There are days I feel pretty good, but still not normal. I think yesterday I was so pumped up because of the whole hospital incident.......must still be because I'm wondering what I'm doing up so early when I'm so darn tired still.

I have finally put myself on a healthier plan. I'm eating right.......all clean, healthy foods. I'm drinking plenty of water and clear juices and I'm taking my vitamens everyday without fail........except for one day......I slept all day and sorta forgot. So, whatever it is, I'm trying to prevent it from getting any worse.

Other than that............here's an updated picture of Wyatt. Took this one this weekend when I was watching him.........before I got the stomach flu of course LOL. What a happy baby. Oh to be young again............

By kristenl67, shot with FinePix A360 at 2007-08-21
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Old 08-21-2007, 03:55 AM
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Kris, I know about those wake up calls and letting your health go. I did the same thing until pain sent me to the ER. I thought heart attack too. Finally made a doctor's appointment. Found out that my cholesterol is way too high. So I decided to make some changes. Since last Wednesday I have been eating the really good diet and I will be starting a Statin drug. I was thinking about making a post similar to yours. A warning to those who are living with the stress of addiction. So I totally understand what you are feeling too. When my husband took me to the ER all I could think about was leaving my precious dogs without a mommy. I hope that you find the cause of your illness and that you can start to feel better soon. I know how scary and discouraging it is when you don't feel good. Prayers and hugs, Marle
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Old 08-21-2007, 04:08 AM
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As far as the ER is concerned, whatever the findings yesterday from blood tests and EKG , you have the right to a full comprehensive report of the findings, explained to you in detail. If this was not done, then go back there and demand a report.

The squeaky hinge gets attention. Any time you go to the ER, keep squeaking and demand you see a Doctor. The reason any one goes to an ER is to be attended to by a Doctor. I don't like the way you got shuffled around yesterday...highly unprofessional and not worthy of the time and effort you put in to seeking answers.

Hey Kris I'm up in the middle of the night here....geez....oh well I can always go back to bed later. Just call me night owl Ha!!!!! I've been working with owls this summer at the widlife rehab center....could it be their ways are rubbing off on me????
RFLMAO.
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Old 08-21-2007, 05:06 AM
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(((Kris)))
the comments made were all uncalled for and they were judgemental. We have Medicaid for people who do not have health insurance. That system is supposed to work for people's benefit, not work as if they are second class citizens.

Your tretment was beyond unprofessional. It was also beyond rude. The system and the people administering it may be jaded but that is NO EXCUSE.

It is a very good thing I am not where you are and I was not there... Trust me, they would have heard it and then I would have had Roxy and Atka do a little "persuasion.."

Please pursue this and try to find out what is wrong. I will pray for you.. worked before!

And if you need Atka to come on down and team up with Roxy for some bite therapy on thos unprofessional professionals, let me know!

Wyatt is a doll!
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Old 08-21-2007, 05:26 AM
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Thumbs up

I'm right there with you Kris, Elena, Roxy, Atka and I'm bringing my daughter's trained
german shepherd with me! He's awesome! I'll sic him on those rude direspectful creeps. Bite therapy's what they'll get. Of course I'll have to dress as a ninja fighter so they can't ID
me and sue my butt. Hehe
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Old 08-21-2007, 06:11 AM
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Kris, you better hang in there. We need you here. I need you here. I love you and I hope you feel better soon.
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Old 08-21-2007, 06:13 AM
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Loves - Stress will kill you, no question about it. I had a stroke at the age of 32. I still have TIA attacks. Do you think that woke me up? NO. I just jumped right back into the stress mill. Nope, I didn't start paying attention until my third or fourth two week hospital stay right before joining this forum. They quarantined me for two weeks with menengitis symptoms but never did find out what was wrong. Brought in infectious disease specialists, neurololigist, nyphrologists, heart specialist, lung specialists, got test results back that they had never seen before from the spinal tap, I had 4 antiboties where I was supposed to have thousands. I did every test there is on my heart, including the one they inject the radio active stuff and you sit in a chair that rotates you around instead of the machine. I had way too much iron in my system (my body was poisining my own body) I had too much calcium. My body was producing so many indorphins from stress, that all those vitimins and minerals were not being absorbed, they were just building up in my body and doing damage. I was under so much stress that my body was shutting down. Without going into all of it, lets just say that I'm in the medical journals with my DNA and blood samples and tissue samples in New York, California, Florida and every medical research school in the country. And my own body was doing it to myself, from stress. My imune system sensed that something was wrong with me, couldn't find what was wrong so it attacked everything. That's the closest explaination that I ever got. I ended up having to stop eating foods rich in iron or calcium, until they could get me back to being able to absorb them. I was litterally killing myself.

I hurt everywhere, my chest constantly felt like someone was squeezing my heart, I was so tired and no matter how much sleep I got, I was still tired.

Doc sat me down and was real blunt one day. We went over the things that we knew were wrong, some pretty serious things, then he said we have to address the worst one. I had to eleviate the stress or die. I argued with him, how can I do that with three kids, finacial problems from being sick, no help, no one to turn to, how in this world do I eleviate the stress? He said quite simply, well, how do all yours problems work out if you are dead? What's the worst that can happen if this doesn't get done or that? At least you are alive, if you are dead, then not only doesn't it get done, but you don't have a chance to do any thing about it later either.

It was so bad that he told me if I didn't get a handle on my stress, that I needed to find a home for my kids, make out my will and give up.

He was really mad at me. I changed my whole attitude that day. I can't control what happens around me, and lord knows I've had some pretty stressful things happen, but I can control how I let it affect me. I can control what people I have around me, if they bring me stress, I don't need them around. If something doesn't get done, so what, it's not the end of the world, if my finances go to crap and bills don't get paid, well, I'm alive, I can find a roof over my head even if it is a shelter, I'm alive.

I always remind myself how many people out there have it so much worse than I do, no matter how bad the situation, I start my "I'm thankful list". That always pulls be back into a positive instead of the negative that stress holds me down to.

I gave it all up, every bit of it, I placed in HP's hands and I have gotten better and better.

So after that long story, my advice to you, is give it all up, hand it over to your HP, find a doctor that will do a complete workup on you, make payment arrangements, go to the health clinic, contact vocational rehab. (they pay for your medical to help get you back to work) do whatever you have to do to find out what is wrong, and let go of anything that is causing you stress. Get your life back, get your health back, start living for Kris.

You want to be there to watch Wyatt grow up.

Lots of Love, Hugs and Prayers going out to you.
B
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Old 08-21-2007, 06:15 AM
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I can bring my Lady (135 # lab/rot?Missy-the pit bull and Mr. T. the huge half lab/shepherd. We could straighten out the whole ER in no time.

I have been going to the county clinic and the ER this yr. ICU twice. All caused from stress and tension-hmmmm. 3 meds now and better thanks to you great heart specialist.

You are entitled to know exactly what test they did and what the results were. I ended up calling the hospital admistrator a couple years ago. Did not take long to receive answers and a print out of the ER report. I would be on the hospital gently at first-then we bring the dogs. Could bring 3 mean parrots too!!!!!
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Old 08-21-2007, 06:28 AM
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Kris,
Please take care of you, you are to important to us. Stress has put me under a few times, and it was not fun. Keep going to the clinic or ER until they find out what the heck is wrong. They need a good dose of us codies coming after them.
Keeping you in my prayers that they find out what is wrong soon
Hugs
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Old 08-21-2007, 06:58 AM
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kris,

hoping you're feeling better and glad you checked in - this just shows why health care is so important - there is no reason why the richest nation can't somehow treat each and every person for health related issues - we need insurance or a health care system for all - not just kids get sick - it just sucks you have to go through all of this - maybe a free clinic????

i'm glad you posted and wyatt is just gorgeous - you keep doing what ever it is you need to do for you - take care...

love,
sue
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Old 08-21-2007, 07:06 AM
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Kris ~ I think the ER staff should be afraid ~ very afraid ~ lots of angry codies ready to go down and kick some butt! LOL
Its discouraging when people make judgements about us because of our circumstances. I find it ironic because I've known quite a few "upper crust" folks in my life who were more apt to have scar tissue in their veins form shooting up than us "common" folk. But no one would dare imply that about them! (I have really deep veins and it takes forever to find them, so I know what you went through. One time they were trying to start an IV on me and they had to call a guy from a different floor after about a half dozen tries because none of the ER nurses could hit a vein. I was ready to choke them!)
Anyway, you got some great advice ahead of me. But I will suggest you try and get to a yoga class. If there are none in your area, try and get a tape to do. (I have a zillion, so let pm me if you are interested and I could send you one.) Yoga is so good for lowering stress levels and helping you learn to manage your stress through breathing. (We aren't talking pretzel position yoga, just breathing, stretching, and relaxing.) That and your healthier diet will help a lot while you're trying to figure out whats wrong.
Oh, and Wyatt is a doll!
I'll be praying for you ...
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Old 08-21-2007, 07:19 AM
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Oh ((Frankly)). You've been through hell. I pray it doesn't have to go so far with me. Stress is the one thing I haven't been able to manage. I try to get a grip on it, but it seems sleeping is the only thing that keeps me from stressing. I guess maybe thats why I do so much of it I don't know.

And..........thank you for the pre-ompted butt kicking committee.
I'M TRYING TO BE GRACEFUL HERE.

However.........I am having fun entertaining the idea of telling that lady at the front desk "HEY YOU........YEA YOU WITH THE BUNNY SLIPPER UP HER BUTT!!"

I asked for the results of the EKG and they refused to give them to me. Said I would have to start all over if I left the hospital. I told them i hadn't left yet!! I don't know.
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Old 08-21-2007, 07:40 AM
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((Hugs Loves))

The ironic thing is, they can't tell you the results, a doctor has too. The want even give you a copy until a doctor has gone over them with you.

I'm pulling for you!

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