Life's a B word, then you wind up in a hospital where the desk clerk refers to you not by your name, but by "The lady with the tattoo on her leg".
I'm still struggling with health issues and of course got the stomach flu from the kids over the weekend I was watching my grandson. That completely hit me like a sucker punch. On top of everything else I've been dealing with I was now vomiting with a fever since Saturday. Whatever happened to the 24 hour stomach virus?? It must have evolved or getting older makes you hang on to it longer..........sigh.
Anyways, I was laying down on the couch and all of the sudden a sharp pain ran up my left arm, was in my neck and back, down the back of my legs and my lower back and stomach. I don't mean to sound like a hypochondriac but instantly I thought "heart attack".
It is true what they say when you're about to die....or at least think you are. I wasn't afraid. I didn't even dial 911! I don't remember much except the extreme pain I was in, looking at my dog sitting next to me with this worried look on her face then waking up the next day with my dog still watching over me licking me in the face.
She looked so tired like she had been up all night watching over me. My precious little girl must have known something was wrong.
Well, today came and my oldest daughter came over and took me to the ER only she wanted to take me to one out of town. She heard I might get better care there and maybe this time someone would be able to figure out once and for all what is causing all these health issues.
I've been so ill I've hardly been working.......so much for having 2 jobs huh? I've been accepting financial help from an unlikely source ( my exabf!!
). I've been trying to look at it as pay back for all the money he had taken from me in the past but it still feels like I'm making a deal with the devil and I don't like it, but I haven't had much of a choice lately.
Anyways, we get to this hospital and I tell them my symptoms....all 10 billion of them...which of course is an exaggeration, but sure doesn't feel like it. So we wait.....and we wait....and we wait......
About an hour later I hear the lady at the desk say "that lady over there with the tattoo on her leg" WTF!! I have a name and it was on the registration form!!
So we get in and they do an EKG. They guy gets done, looks at it and says "It's not too bad. I think you'll live." WTF!! This guy isn't even a doctor. He hooks the little thingies on you and turns the machine on. He's not even supposed to make any comments to you at all!! I was really upset. This was highly unprofessional to say the least.
So then we sat there and waited.......and waited......and waited....and waited. After 3 more hours the lady came in to take some blood. AFTER complaining about how little she gets paid there she jukes my arm with the needle and says "There's been a needle in this vein recently. I can tell because there's scar tissue built up." Only she said it like she was accusing me of shooting up drugs or something!!
It takes a lot to ruffle my feathers, but this old bird had heard enough and I told her I was just in another hospital a few weeks back for a kidney infection and actually smacked the flebotomist there for sticking the blasted needle in my arm about 6 times before he got it right! "Oh" she says, now giggling......."I'd better get it right then I guess".
I was so irritated at that point. The whole time we were there we never once saw a doctor. It really started to feel like I was in one of those low budget horror movies and all I knew is I needed to get out of there. Which is EXACTLY what I did.
I know what has brought all of this about. STRESS!! Stress dated back to the days with my exabf.
I'm still a medical mystery LOL.......and will be until someone with some sense can finally find out the exact cause of what's wrong and how I can fix it.
I feel it's truly a miracle I'm still here to share this with you and I PRAY someone reads this and pays attention.
It's not worth it y'all. Stress is a killer. I'm only 39!! I shouldn't be going through this but I am.
I know what it's like to put off taking care of yourself because you're too preoccupied with the addict(s) in your life, but PLEASE........if this were to be the last thing I ever write, take the time to take care of yourself. It's so important.
An addict is going to do what they're going to do no matter what. If I had spent more time praying and less time worrying and stressing over my ex, I'd be in a much better place health wise right now.
Hugs
Kris