Confused, I thought I was nuts right along with you because I feel the same way you do. But then I read Splendra's post and agreed: I long for my ABF, but I don't love him. I am in love with the fantasy man who is my ABF about 5% of the time. Out of that time he is caring, loving, devoted to me, wants a future with me. You know, the 5% of the time fantasy man who reeled me in. But 95% of the time he's lying, cheating, demented, living in a pit, doesn't wash, drinks day and night, berates me, is impotent ... man, there is nothing pretty about that picture.