Helena, I'm a newbie too, only on here a few weeks, having found this place by accident while looking for something else. Now I believe it was fate that led me to my new friends here. Never have I felt more hope and compassion than I have through sharing my pain with these wonderful people. When everyone's asleep and you're all alone with your demons, you can come here and find comfort. You may still feel like hell, & scared, but you will not be alone! Most members do not lecture, even though everyone has their own formula for recovery. You can have a setback and still continue to participate. I was once sober for 3 years and then went back to it without even thinking. It was inconceivable to me that I couldn't just have a few and enjoy drinking socially once again, I was going to be so careful - I knew where I went wrong! Instead of saying NO MORE, I just said, I'll be more careful... it didn't work, and God knows I spent decades trying to invent a way to keep drinking! I crashed & burned horribly and now have health issues to deal with along with a great deal of remorse and regret. Just think, you don't have to go down that road! This is your chance, please take it, love!