confused....I know it can be so hard. I am still with AH, but left him once before for over a year...let him back in, and now...here we are again. Keep your life separate the best you can. I relate in so may ways. They are sort of like a comfortable old shoe...it just feels good when you see that sober person again and the comfortableness is there for a little while. But that is just it...it is usually just for a little while! Just do the best you can to keep taking care of yourself and don't look back. Keep looking forward. Maybe yours will be a success story and maybe it won't. Just keep being strong...in my case, my AH will be like that in the hopes that I will "forget" what he has done to make this big mess. Just take each day as it comes.