Glass, are you and your wife still together?
I don't know if I can wait until he decides to get sober. I don't know how long that might take and the at least a few years into sobriety in order to really being able to give back in a relationship. That's a long time to live alone. Or be in a relationship alone. In one of my Al-Anon groups there is a woman who appears to me to still be very bitter and angry. She must have been a doozy because she says she is so much better and happier now so I can only imagine what she must have been like before. She shared one day in explaining how she lives with an active alcoholic.
She said, once she accepted that the dream is dead, the dream of the marriage they once could have had, she could start living her life again. She said it's a rather pleasant life, they only discuss things of importance in the early part of the day because that's when he is sober. They have dinner together but in quiet and don't speak much unless it's about day to day stuff. She said "There is no we, there is only him and me." She said it was her second marriage and she decided she was not getting another divorce and she was going to figure out a way to make it work. Yuck. That doesn't sound like the life I want. If there is no "we" in a relationship, I may as well just be me alone. I don't need to be in a relationship alone. So I guess in conclusion, living with an active alcoholic is not an option for me. I just need to decide when I do something about it. Take action. I know I'm not emotionally ready for that step yet.
Jenny