Diane,
I know you want the best for your son, we all do for our children. But until he is ready you can't help. Until your parents are ready to stop enabling him they won't. I know it hurts you so much to see your son, and have your hubby say I Told You So, but the heck with that. Take care of you, see him if you want but remember what you are in for. If you want to stay away than do it. But please turn this over to your HP, he will guide you and keep your son as safe as HE wants him to be.
Keeping you and your family in my prayers