Staying Strong
well, as like many last night was not so good.. But, I will always be the first to say I know I am the cause of some of it. Not his drug habit but, some of the other problems we have. Although, most of our fights are over him going to get drugs or people coming to my house with them.
Either way, this morning ( I take him to work) he goes to telling me how much he loves me. And he dont want to loose me. He cant see why I have such a problem with him taking a few pills. I do have a problem with it and its not just a few pills it pills of some sort every day.
I know he isnt going to stop as long as I am there making sure all the bills gets paid. And making sure everything is taken care of. He used to drink as I have stated before. And It did take me making him leave for him to stop and see he was loosing us all. (Thats why he wont leave the house again.) At times, I know he loves us but, he cant or wont stop using for us.
I had to vent for a minute there sorry..
I do need everyones prayers. Cause in my heart I know I have to do something for my kids and myself to better us all. I feel like its time I moved out to either let him fall to rock bottom or to pick his self up. I have to meet a man about a house to day at 2:00 so I just hope I know what I am doing.
His words hurt alot this morning and it does make me wonder if I am doing the right thing and to be honest I feel guilty but, I know I cant I have heard it all before. And nothing changed then.
Thanks for listening. I thank god for the people at this site and this site daily.
Big Hugs to all..