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Staying Strong

Old 08-15-2007, 07:15 AM
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Staying Strong

well, as like many last night was not so good.. But, I will always be the first to say I know I am the cause of some of it. Not his drug habit but, some of the other problems we have. Although, most of our fights are over him going to get drugs or people coming to my house with them.
Either way, this morning ( I take him to work) he goes to telling me how much he loves me. And he dont want to loose me. He cant see why I have such a problem with him taking a few pills. I do have a problem with it and its not just a few pills it pills of some sort every day.
I know he isnt going to stop as long as I am there making sure all the bills gets paid. And making sure everything is taken care of. He used to drink as I have stated before. And It did take me making him leave for him to stop and see he was loosing us all. (Thats why he wont leave the house again.) At times, I know he loves us but, he cant or wont stop using for us.

I had to vent for a minute there sorry..

I do need everyones prayers. Cause in my heart I know I have to do something for my kids and myself to better us all. I feel like its time I moved out to either let him fall to rock bottom or to pick his self up. I have to meet a man about a house to day at 2:00 so I just hope I know what I am doing.
His words hurt alot this morning and it does make me wonder if I am doing the right thing and to be honest I feel guilty but, I know I cant I have heard it all before. And nothing changed then.
Thanks for listening. I thank god for the people at this site and this site daily.
Big Hugs to all..
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Old 08-15-2007, 07:25 AM
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I have to meet a man about a house to day at 2:00 so I just hope I know what I am doing.
Its scary and I doubted myself alot, but it is manageable and my only regret was that I waited as long as I did.

Big hugs and encouraging thoughts!
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Old 08-15-2007, 08:53 AM
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You have to take of your kids, and you. Let him go, and Let God work.
susan
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Old 08-15-2007, 10:16 AM
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I'll be praying for you (((way)))
_______________
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Old 08-15-2007, 10:21 AM
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You have my prayers way.
I know these steps are some of the hardest. Mett the man, see what the house offers and take a few minutes to process it all. I admire your strength and willingness to move forward.
(((Hugs)))
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Old 08-15-2007, 10:45 AM
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Originally Posted by wayconfused View Post
IAt times, I know he loves us but, he cant or wont stop using for us.
In my journey of recovery - learning what I have learned about the disease of addiction and alcoholism - these are some of the things I have learned from Open AA meetings, from reading recovery literature and talking with addicts and alcoholics that are now working a 12 Step recovery program -

An addict can't stop for someone else - they will need to stop for themselves. Just as we are not the cause of their use of drugs or alcohol, neither can we be the cause of them NOT using these substances.

And sometimes we have to let to - to let our loved ones find their own way. It is not that we don't care - we are just stepping back to allow them the dignity to make their own choices in their life. To let them have the dignity to accept responsiblity for their own life. It is about respect for them and respect for ourselves.

Looking at things this way is not easy for me, but it does help me try to know what is best for me and what is best for my loved ones that are affected by this disease.

Wishing you Serenity, Strength and Peace,
Rita
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:01 PM
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well i went to meet that man. I missed him. we had our days messed up. Anyway, he is faxing me over the papers. So I did try.. And I am going to keep looking..
I may have to stay in the town I live in but, oh well.
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:10 PM
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Sending prayers your way to have peace in your life as well as your kids. Sorry you guys got days mixed up. Keep trying, it will work out.
HUGS
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:32 PM
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some thing will come open i am sure. you have my prayers, hope
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Old 08-15-2007, 07:53 PM
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Way, I know it is so hard to let them find their own way but that is the only choice we have if we want to keep our sanity.

Blessings on your family..............Lo
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Old 08-15-2007, 09:30 PM
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Way,
Thinking about you and praying for you and your kids.
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Old 08-16-2007, 06:27 AM
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thank you all. well i did alot of thinking last night, and looking rent houses. They are kinda hard to find. Or just to expensive for me right now.So in looking through the paper I seen a few apartments open. I am going to go there today. And at least stay there until I can get a deal on a house (to buy, i hate renting). My ah is even telling me to post a for sale sign on the house. which he has done before and I have stopped him. I think cause at them times I wasnt sure of what to do. This time, I am ready to really let go all the way. It hurts , and to be honest I am crying now. But, I am sure that I am strong enough to do it this time.
As I asked before I need everyones prayers. I have a strong beleif in the power of prayer.
Hugs to all. and thanks for being here..
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Old 08-16-2007, 09:43 AM
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way...........hang in there do what feels right for you and remember were here for you!
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Old 08-16-2007, 10:39 AM
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Way, You have my prayers also.

Love,
Diane
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Old 08-17-2007, 09:01 AM
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Well I rented a house.. Part of me is so happy and the other part of me is scared to death. I told my ah last night he didnt take it so well. I told him I had to let go and let him deal with his problems. And of course I heard all of the normal things he cant beleive I would walk out on 19 years. He wished I would have talked to him before I rented a house. He sorry, he knows he is wrong, why cant we work things out. Di I listen to our wedding vows.
I just cried, and tried to explain it to him that I cant stay there any more and watch what is going on, and be around the types of people that he has met.
I dont know how this will all go but, I am just praying to god to show me the way.
And to take care of him.
I am sad and happy all at the same time.. Right now I am going to just do what I can and not worry about what I cant..
Thanks for letting me share......
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Old 08-17-2007, 09:07 AM
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you and your children have my prayers and support. hugs, k
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Old 08-17-2007, 09:14 AM
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Originally Posted by wayconfused View Post
I am sad and happy all at the same time.. Right now I am going to just do what I can and not worry about what I cant..

I can relate to feeling that way too - happy, sad, angry, frustrated, scared and a whole bunch of other feelings - like you said - Just do what you can and try not to worry about the rest.

Try to take good care of you in the midst of all this.

Praying for you & your family,
Rita
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Old 08-17-2007, 10:12 AM
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The first step is the hardest, and you have overcome that. Good Luck.
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Old 08-17-2007, 01:23 PM
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Wayconfused

In answer to your question, YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING!

Always remember, your job first and foremost is to protect your children.

You're not only doing the right thing, you are not postponing the inevitable.

Prayers coming your way. I, for one, am proud of you.

Hugs, Devastated
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