Ahhh... codependent- I can COMPLETELY relate to you.
I need more than the 12 steps to recover. I need a bigger breakdown.
My abf is in a halfway house in Florida. He left the area and went there after a month in rehab. He has made new friends and has had to start a new life there and while I WANT to be happy for him, I find myself sometimes upset because I am back in the SAME environment that we existed in together before his decent into hell- and I am still left with frightening memories.
Ogly- brings up a good point- when I start to engage in my codie behaviors- there is a REASON behind- WHY do I do it- WHAT do I get from it?
I don't know, but even if I COULD decide what it was- THEN WHAT?!?!
I have SUCH ups and downs and truthfully HUGE steps back at times. I commend you for even acknowledging your progress.
Sometimes I get so afraid to do that simply because I'm so scared of things turning back into the hell they were.
If you have any tips on what has worked for you in terms of giving up control I'll take any pointers. I KNOW I have no control, but I do not really KNOW it on the level in which my codependency operates from (which is a scared and painful part of me.) I get frustrated CONSTANTLY telling myself it again and again.