I was okay today. Maybe because I thought he'd call again, like he did yesterday. I felt powerful that I didn't pick up. Now today, he didn't call at all, and i can't stop crying again. I'm back to he hates me, i can't handle it. I am getting through my book, Codependent No More, and it's like a biography of myself. I'm reading it every spare second i can to keep my mind off things. But i am full of dread. I'm a teacher and i go back to school next week and i dread questions from everyone about how "we" are ...everyong was so excited for me that i finally found someone. I feel like i failed again. have to show everyone again what a failure i have become. I miss him and i want him to call. i don't want to answer, i just want him to call.