wanna hear something sad??
This is so timely it's uncanny. I posted here yesterday for the first time in months. My rabf has been working on several big projects at work for the past 6 months. He is in the development business. His boss (who is a lifelong friend of ours and used to be a "running buddy" of my rabf's until he too got off cocaine) decided that they needed a guy's weekend to celebrate a job well done. I was a little thrown off by this idea, but am far enough in my recovery to realize I cannot be his baby sitter and I sure as hell can't control him. So, I sent him off with my blessings and proceeded to attempt to have a nice, quiet weekend. Well, when he left he said he would call often and if i needed him he'd have his cell phone, blah, blah. I tried him yesterday around 11AM and couldn't get him. So I went out on the boat with some friends and when i returned he had left a message saying he had gone to breakfast when i called and just to call him later. I tried him at 4:00 PM, again at 7:00 PM, and even again at 9:00 PM. Where do you think I was going in my head??
By this morning, I was all over the place with my thoughts.........i called him again, no answer. He calls back about an hour ago. Sounded really "stopped up". Said he just got up and would be coming home today. I asked him why I couldn't get him all weekend, and he immediately turned it around on me and said, "I tried to call you twice yesterday.....I got your voicemail and when you called me you got my voicemail....no big deal, anyway....on to the next subject he went.
So, here i sit, wondering??? If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck....or am I being crazy??? I'm not sure what to say to him when he gets home? Do i attempt to express my concerns/fears? He is a terrible communicator and usually gets angry when i dare suggest he's been up to something. I just have zero tolerance with the drug life anymore......and i need to know for sure if he did or if he didn't, because if he did...i will honestly leave this time. No questions asked. I just mentioned yesterday that he has been in recovery for a year and 1/2 (with 2 slips). This would be strike 3. Am I being paranoid??? Isn't it odd he didn't answer the phone???