Hi Amelia,
well done on your decision!
Sometimes - ten months after quitting drinking - I still wake up in a slight panic, having had a dream that I was drunk, or something. Then I realize that everything is OK, I'm sober, I know where I was last night, I didn't do anything awful or shameful, that I don't have to spend the day drinking more in a horrible vicious circle of self-hatred, self-obsesssion, shame, misery, and so on.
It's a fantastic feeling - for years, when I was drinking, I was utterly desperate, becuase I really thought that this was in my genes, or my blood or my bones or something, and I was doomed to have to repeat all this till I one day I didn't wake up anymore. But it is possible to stop and change, to get better. Take a look around at all the various help on offer. Don't dismiss AA out of hand either though - there's a lot about it i don't like, and I'm nowhere near fully "in the program" (don't do the steps, don't have a sponsor, don't believe in a Higher Power really), but there are a lot of useful practices and ideas and tools you can pick up and use there. Starting with "one day at a time" and "take it easy" - good thoughts for the first few days of staying sober.
Good luck,
NL.