Wow, what a great topic! I remember having a conversation probably 8 years ago with a friend of mine about how the same traits that attracted us to our husbands in the beginning were the things that also drove us crazy years later. And this was before I realized that my husband was an alcoholic and my marriage was doomed.
FWIW, I don't think it's possible to 'turn off' the things we are attracted to. You can call it chemistry or whatever you want, but certain people attract each other. I think that when you gain some insight into yourself, though, you can more easily recognize people who are not good for you, even if you are attracted to them.
For example, I have always been attracted to unconventional, free-spirited, young-at-heart types as mentioned above. On the surface, there is nothing wrong with those traits. What I have to be careful of is the whole package. Often, those traits come along with other more undesireable ones. (Such as irresponsible, immature, and unreliable) Often, but not always. Right now I am seeing someone who is very unconventional, creative, and young at heart. He is also responsible, reliable, and independent.
I guess my point is that I don't think I can control who I am attracted to. But I can control who I choose to enter into a relationship with, regardless of the initial attraction. Lots of fish in the sea, you know?
Thanks Jeri, for getting me thinking about this.
L
P.S. The best insight I've ever read about people and their attractions to each other is "Getting the Love You Want" by Harville Hendrix.