Originally Posted by
embraced2000 
.....finding compassion for me was such a good thing in my recovery process. hating my xh and his actions and choices just wore me out.
Embraced: I found that I had to learn to have compassion for, and forgive myself 'first'. (But I had to look up the meanings of those words as I had no clue what they looked like). That was a HUGE hurdle for me to overcome. I was my own worst enemy and critic in that respect. But then again, I had to look at who my teachers were. Was it similiar for you too?
Lady BlueMiles: I'm not so much into Alanon right now, although that was my beginning. The meetings in my area left a lot to be desired unfortunately. And yup...I repressed sooo much, I'm just beginning to realize how much...all for the sake of avoiding pain, and self preservation. To a certain degree, they were my survival tools. It all seemed to come in to the light only when I was ready and had 'better' survival tools to use.