MsPINKAcres

My daughter is at the hospital to deliver our 6th grandchild. There are tons of emotions going thru my heart right now.

I know that she has used during this pregnancy. I know that precious little baby boy is in the hand of a power greater than me, her, or this disease.

She is definitely doing what addicts do - argueing with the nurses about wearing a hospital gown vs her sleep shirt, why does she have to wait 4 hrs between doses of demerol (sp?), why is everyone so mean to her? why can't she hit that mean nurse. quack, quack, quack.

She has been in & out of program like so many - so I calmly asked "Is it really worth losing your serenity over a hospital gown? how nice do you think everyone will be to you after you hit someone?" And she said "Yeah, but quack, quack quack"

And I said "I love you and I'll see you at the hospital as it gets closer to the time for delivery" and calmly hung up the phone. That was this morning. I love her, I love my grandson, but I love me too - enough to take a step back to take care of me.

She just called, it's getting close to time to go - my first instinct is to run away completely - but I need to go - I want to go - I want to see my grandson. I want to know if he is ok and yes, I really do want know if she is ok too.

This will be a tough few days, but even tougher when they go home - praying for guidance and direction on what to do about the situation then.

The more I grow in recovery, the more I learn, it almost seems the hardest this stuff gets -

Thanks for letting me share,
Rita